That’s better than first time, however some thought about it:
- Are you sure the manager that will read your resume will understand things like “TOP SECRET/SCI” or “5
VIPs.”? I personally don’t, and that’s why I say you should consider your audience objective (who is this document for? Who will read it? How he will understand me? Should I talk about military things that only me and my military friends understand?)
- CodeIgniter is cool, but is that your only qualification? As you are seeking for computer administration job, shouldn’t you also give skills in this area?
- Supervisor: “The best Airman I have had in 20 years of service.”... Hmmm… Testimonials-like in a resume… is this not a bit “pretentious”? Playing the role of a company Manager now:
“Hey man! I have 30 years of experience and have managed 3 companies, so before tell me this, first you have to make some proof in my company, then after 1 or 2 years we can talk together about you are the best or not, but please don’t say it, I want to see this myself!”
- “Saved the USAF over $32k annually” I am not sure you should say that, I can’t say why, just a feeling that is not good to say it.
- “300MB of raw data files from World of Warcraft”... Hmmmm… now playing the role of a non-tech manager:
“Hey man, I don’t understand nothing to what you are saying, I am manager and I don’t care about this techs things that makes no sense for me! That’s why I pay people: For they understand this for me and make the work I expect for finally my customers are happy about my company, so please, save my time, I must to go meet clients to sign new contracts now: explain this for your colleague or for your tech friend, and stop playing games, start to work!”
Of course I am kidding, but that’s what I would feel as a manager that has never played to World of Warcraft…
- Finally a detail: Make your phone number Bold so we can see it at the first look.
Like I told you already, that’s what I feel as I am a manager myself.
Hope that helps !