*grins* Aw, c’mon, it was 8pm then 4:30am! Even I step away from the computer occasionally.. *grins*
Alright, as with any ExpressionEngine question, the performance issue is far more reliant on your server infrastructure - hardware, optimization, etc. than on ExpressionEngine itself. Of course, if all 3 installations are on the same account they’ll be using the same resources, but if you have 3 accounts, each dedicated to their own ExpressionEngine installation, then they have their own dedicated resources. But if you run those installations on a server setup not geared at dynamic applications, then they may not perform as well as a 20-Site MSM on a server tuned for dynamic sites.
Does that make sense? The Multiple Site Manager in and of itself does not have an effect on performance. Ultimately, you need to look at your Sites, the resources they need, if they’re related (and owned by a single person or company), and figure out how to manage them. If they’re appropriate for the MSM: share a membership database, perhaps need some content cross-references, then by all means, use the Multiple Site Manager.
Have you seen the interview about Frieze, with Simon Collison? Check out out - some invaluable insights there!
As far as “spinning off a site” out of the Multiple Site Manager - there is no built-in method for that at this time, so you would need advanced knowledge of MySQL and ExpressionEngine’s database schema to do this manually, yourself. If it was just entries there are several ways to handle this without that knowledge, but if it’s the entire Site - preferences, entries, templates, etc - then it becomes more difficult. Ultimately, the Multiple Site Manager is intended for related internet properties - not as a temporary way to handle un-related projects together.