I understand, carvingCode; incidentally, I have been employed with EllisLab full time for just over a year, and prior to that time used vB extensively, so I definitely fall into the category of user you are looking for. And you’ll find a pattern here in the forums where we do not promote our tools as the be-all end-all of all software, and often point people to outside solutions if we think it’s a better fit. But I’m happy to answer your question and then bow out of the thread. :-D
For the calendar: in ExpressionEngine, you would simply create a weblog for the purpose of your event calendar, which can be displayed however and wherever you like (including the calendar tag). Weblog entries can be linked directly to a forum topic in the Publish screen; either to an existing topic, or can create even one for you automatically if you are publishing a new event.