Thread

After reading this (http://ellislab.com/forums/viewthread/157706/) and sharing it with the office, the lads started writing their own “pointless code” entries.

So im opening a competition, The Most Pointless Functionality Competition.

Rules:
1. Has to be stupid.
2. Has to be completely irrelevant.
3. Has to make the same people who laugh at the above thread, laugh.

My Entry:

function echo($string){
$size = sizeof($string);
for($i=0;$i<$size;$i++)
{
echo $string[$i];
}
}

function return_value($__value)
{
return $__value;
}

Does my “use CodeIgniter functions in CamelCase” hack qualify?

Also could you add rule #4: put the code between [code ][/code ] tags

And just in case that other bit of crazyness didn’t qualify:
[code]function is_true( $var )
{
// Set the default value for the return just in case
// according to the rule: innocent until proven guilty
$return = TRUE;

// If the input is boolean the truth can be decided immediately
if ( is_bool( $var ) )
{
if ( $var === TRUE )
{
$return = TRUE;
}
      elseif ( $var === FALSE )
      {
$return = FALSE;
}
      // Throw error when $var has an invalid value
      else
      {
throw new Exception( 'Boolean value has to be TRUE or FALSE.' );
}
  }
  // If the input isn’t boolean the $var has to be converted to boolean before truth
  // can be determined
  else
  {
if ( is_null( $var ) )
{
$return = FALSE;
}
      elseif ( is_numeric( $var ) )
      {
if ( $var > 0 )
$return = TRUE;
else
$return = FALSE;
}
      elseif ( is_string( $var ) )
      {
if ( strlen( $var ) > 0 )
$return = TRUE;
else
$return = FALSE;
}
      elseif ( is_array( $var ) )
      {
if ( count( $var ) > 0 )
$return = TRUE;
else
$return = FALSE;
}
      elseif ( is_object( $var ) )
      {
if ( ! is_null( $var ) )
$return = TRUE;
else
$return = FALSE;
}
      // If type wasn’t determined yet use empty()
      else
      {
if ( ! empty( $var ) )
$return = TRUE;
else
$return = FALSE;
}
  }

  // Return the truth of the matter
  return $return;
}</code></pre>

http://thedailywtf.com/

1. Has to be stupid.
2. Has to be completely irrelevant.
3. Has to make the same people who laugh at the above thread, laugh.
4. Mod Edit: Has to not be spam. G’day.

Zend Framework won this competition a while back.  Once they wrapped existing php functions with their own it was over.

Whats the prize for the winner? 😉

I found this piece of “code” that I made in 2004(according to file creation time). Its run from shell and creates big letters from string and scrolls the text from right to left. Whee! Impressed? Me neither :cheese:

Heres the code. Needed fontfile included as attachment.

#!/usr/bin/php
<?php

scroll('greetings to megalamers!!!! my first php-intro ever.. and last');

function scroll($text) {
    echo "\033c";
    $font=file('font.txt');
    for ($i=33; $i<94;$i++) {
        $letter=chr($i);
        $key=array_search($letter."\n",$font);
        if ($key!==false) {
            for($j=0;$j<7;$j++) {
                $bigletter[$letter][$j]=chop($font[$key+($j+1)]);
            }
        }
    }

    $scrolltext=strtoupper('       '.$text);
    $lenght=strlen($scrolltext);
    $row=array();
    $row=array_fill(0, 7, '');

    for($i=0;$i<$lenght; $i++) {
        for ($j2=0;$j2<7;$j2++) {
            if ($scrolltext{$j}==' ')
                $row[$j2].='        ';
            else
                $row[$j2].=' '.str_pad($bigletter[$scrolltext{$i}][$j2],7);
        }
    }

    $maxlen=strlen($row[0]);

    for ($i=0;$i<$maxlen;$i++) {
        for ($i2=0;$i2<7;$i2++) {
            $row2[$i2]=substr($row[$i2],$i,50);
        }

        echo implode("\n",$row2);
        usleep(10000);
        echo "\033c";
    }
}

Zend Framework won this competition a while back.  Once they wrapped existing php functions with their own it was over.

Extend that into Magento and we’re onto a winner..

Zend Framework won this competition a while back.  Once they wrapped existing php functions with their own it was over.

Extend that into Magento and we’re onto a winner..

Zend for first prize without-a-doubt. Having been subjected to this framework for over one year now (and counting) as the lead developer at work is pretty big on using it even though it seems to complicate and bury things through multiple levels of abstraction.

Magento definitely for second though.

public function __construct() {
if (method_exists($this, "__construct")) {
    call_user_func_array(array($this, '__construct'), func_get_args());
}
    }

Haven’t tried this, but wouldn’t it just loop infinitely?

public function __construct() {
if (method_exists($this, "__construct")) {
    call_user_func_array(array($this, '__construct'), func_get_args());
}
    }

Haven’t tried this, but wouldn’t it just loop infinitely?

Only if you called parent::__constructor(); Haha. That’s why it’s so useless - it’s never even called.

@vheissu Magento is built on top of zend, but incorporates a load of crap on the top of it to boot 😛