Found your post while trying to deal with similar issues and it was of some help. I see this is quite old so maybe you have figured things out. Anyway thought I would help you with your jquery issue. If you include jquery in the footer it will load after the forms javascript causing errors (as you pointed out) the work around I did was to use stash. In your channel:form call set include_jquery=“no” and include_assets=“no” then within the form use stash to store the assets javascript like so.
{exp:stash:set name="saef_assets"}{channel_form_assets}{/exp:stash:set}
Then in your footer after your jquery call output the assets javascript.
{exp:stash:get name="saef_assets"}
Does the trick for the javascript issue. The rest of it I am still having issues with. Mostly I cant figure out why it starts off with a picture of a file and the option to delete that and the undo remove all showing at once. You would expect something more similar to the CP version which starts off with just the ‘add file’ text link.