2.0 Update, Entry from the lost journal of Allard

Today’s update was simply going to be “Nothing to see here!” But then an odd thing happened. A cowboy with leathery skin and a sun-worn hat rode horseback to my front porch and gave me a rolled up peice of parchment. It contained a hand-written (poor penmanship I might add) note from Derek Allard, our venerable Technology Architect, which I’ve transcribed below for anyone that finds it interesting.

Dear Mr. Camacho,

I have little time to write this note as paper is hard to come by, and I don’t know how much coal is left on this sharpened stick that I’m using to write. My sled dogs are weary, and the light in my makeshift igloo shelter is dim at best. It is June 16th, and I fear my updates may not continue long.  Regardless, I hope this letter finds you in good spirits, although I do not know how swiftly my messenger will deliver it. 

I know you have waited patiently as I navigated the perilous landscapes of Canada in search of Jones, a miserly wizard who resides in a strange tower using his dark techno magics to teleport o’ the land. After much searching, I located him and spoke with him at great length regarding the Quest for 2.0. While I have much to tell you, alas, the Wizard Jones has forbidden me from writing too much, fearing this letter may be stolen and disseminated on something he only referred to as “the intertubes.” Still, I will share what I can.

Jones believes we have found a clue to EE 2.0’s progress in Voltaire’s Candide, ou l’Optimisme in which he predicts “ExpressionEngine 2 is like totally right on track. It should be the fondest desire of EllisLab that the June 30th update will be much more substantial then the last few have been.” He goes on to predict that “A beautiful Beligum woman will deliver unto thee new icons; Packages shall be a boon unto developers, thanks be to feedback from Team Kaylee.” Or something like that. Much to my mother’s shame, my French is poor and this translation is paraphrased at best.

I must end here as I may need the stick and the coal to fend off the ravenous wolves that even now wait patiently in the dark. I will see you in two weeks so that I may more fully share the news from the Wizard Jones.

And there you have it. If you make sense of it, let me know. Otherwise, I’ll just be patiently waiting for Allard’s return on the 30th for more 2.0 news.